please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
