he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
