Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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