FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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