No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
