is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
