its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
