It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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