She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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