I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
