YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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