So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
