Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
