before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
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my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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