I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
