:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
