It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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