their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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