I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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