oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
