I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
