I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
