Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The struggles of a small town man whore
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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