shes about as inviting as chlamydia
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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