The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You ruined the universe
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
