If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
