Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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