There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
