when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
