He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
