Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
