Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
