can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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