you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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