Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
