obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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