I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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