So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
