I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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