we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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