How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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