that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
