with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We need to rekindle our bromance
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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