i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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