do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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