hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
