I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
