Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
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It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
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Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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