I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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