There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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