Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
