how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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