I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....