OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.