Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood