I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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