I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
