She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
