spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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