I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize