Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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